How Much Longer Before the PSN Works?

According to Sony reps, the PSN won’t get back to “full capacity” until, hopefully, May 31st. Yay?

Wait, the Akira Live-Action Movie is Still a Thing?

I hadn’t heard much news lately concerning the upcoming Warner Bros. adaptation of the anime classic Akira, and I had been hoping (apparently in vain) that this signified its’ death. “Maybe,” thought I, “it’s fallen into development hell. Maybe we’ll never have to hear about it again!”

According to a blurb from The Hollywood Reporter, I was wrong.

Akira, the English-language, live-action take on the landmark anime and manga property, is zeroing in on its star, and it just might be Keanu Reeves.

Warner Bros. has been having a tough time finding the two leads of the movie, to be directed by Albert Hughes. In the script, the action moves from Neon-Tokyo to New Manhattan, where a biker gang leader tries to save his best friend from a medical experiment that threatens to unleash destructive powers.

Actors ranging from James Franco and Joseph Gordon-Levitt to Robert Pattinson and Michael Fassbender have circled the project in some form or fashion as the studio sought to find an A-list lead.

Now comes word that Reeves has held talks with the studio, with whom he already made the massively successful Matrix movies, for the part of Kaneda, the gang leader. Reeves doesn’t yet have an offer for the role, but we hear the talks with his reps have been going well.

Oh God, was I ever wrong.

May the 4th be With You!

Happy Star Wars day!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Mass Effect 3 will be released in the first three months of 2012. The development team is laser focused on making sure Mass Effect 3 is the biggest, boldest and best game in the series, ensuring that it exceeds everyone’s expectations. – Casey Hudson, Executive Producer Mass Effect series

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I’m Sorry, it’s Just too Hard to Resist

Sony Prepares its’ Butt for a Spanking of Epic Proportions

Well, now that the hullabaloo with the PSN is over and the network is back online… What? Wait, seriously? It’s still down for most people? Okay, well I guess I need to revise my intro.

*ahem*

Well, now that the hullabaloo with the PSN is still going on, pretty much everyone on the entire planet is getting pretty angry. Apparently Canada has prepared a class action lawsuit that’s at about a billion dollars, Sony chiefs had to appear before the US congress, and Australia, in an uncharacteristically mild move, have not outlawed video games from the Wasteland but are instead introducing more legislation concerning personal information storage for online gaming. Whatever, man.

Godspeed you, Sonys' Credibility.

Amidst all the chaos, Sony is beginning to look more and more like they may even deserve this. Granted, there’s not much that they could have done differently, but… Well, actually there’s quite a bit they could have done differently. Apparently Sony went a whole SIX DAYS before telling anybody they’d been hacked in the first place! Apparently it’s kind of like the toddler that spills all the apple juice on the kitchen floor:  you won’t find out anything about it until you walk in and catch him sobbing and trying to clean it up himself using your best tablecloth.

Even better than keeping us in the dark, Sony apparently can’t find that actual culprits of this heinous act (*snicker*), so they’ve turned to the now-classic move: blame Canada Anonymous. I know that Anon aren’t the most trustworthy dudes on the net, but they’ve got a pretty consistent history of taking credit for the havoc they wreak. This time, they responded like this:

Click to enlarge ;)

Now I’m not naive. I accept the possibility that, because this is kind of a bigger deal than the usual crap Anon would pull, it’s very likely they WOULD deny any involvement… if they were anyone else. But these “cyber terrorists” (Sonys’ words) have got a long history of continuously taking gleeful credit for even the most preposterously insane acts of internet craziness, and they’re all hackers of a high enough, erm… “quality” that they’d probably trust in their firewalls and secret hard drives or whatever it is that hackers have.

No matter who’s to blame, though, here’s hoping Sony managed to sneak a pillow into their pants. Otherwise, the oncoming spanking will NOT be pleasant.

What Time is it?!

via Threadless

Return to the Wastelands? Sure, Why Not?

Well, Bethesda apparently isn’t going to rest on their laurels as people get bored with the unbelievably huge Fallout New Vegas. Hoping to cut off leaked information from snoops searching through recently filed copyrights, they’ve come out with some details about the next three bits of DLC for the post-apocalyptic simulator.

From Bethesda’s own lips:

Honest Hearts, available May 17, takes you on an expedition to the unspoiled wilderness of Utah’s Zion National Park. Things go horribly wrong when your caravan is ambushed by a tribal raiding band. As you try to find a way back to the Mojave, you become embroiled in a war between tribes and a conflict between a New Canaanite missionary and the mysterious Burned Man. The decisions you make will determine the fate of Zion.

In Old World Blues, releasing in June, you will discover how some of the Mojave’s mutated monsters came to be when you unwittingly become a lab rat in a science experiment gone awry. You’ll need to scour the Pre-War research centers of the Big Empty in search of technology to turn the tables on your kidnappers or join forces with them against an even greater threat.

Lonesome Road, available in July, brings the courier’s story full circle when you are contacted by the original Courier Six, a man by the name of Ulysses who refused to deliver the Platinum Chip at the start of New Vegas. In his transmission, Ulysses promises the answer as to why, but only if you take one last job –a job that leads you into the depths of the hurricane-swept canyons of the Divide, a landscape torn apart by earthquakes and violent storms. The road to the Divide is a long and treacherous one, and of the few to ever walk the road, none have ever returned.

The only one of these that may have links to the old-school Fallouts is perhaps the last one, as there is a zeppelin that goes down over “The Great Divide” in Brotherhood of Steel. Then again, BoS was a steaming pile of crap that nobody liked and isn’t considered canonical, so I doubt it’s the same one.

Anyway, yay!

Surprise! It’s Laugh at Sony Day!

By now, I’m sure that any of you who have stumbled upon my nerdy video game blog are well aware of all the nonsense that’s been happening with the Playstation Network. Tldr version: PSN was hacked, credit card numbers were probably stolen, personal info was definitely stolen, and the network is down for at least a few weeks (unless Sony surprises us).

Now, I could embark on a long discourse about who’s to blame, who should pay, how and if people should be compensated, etc etc etc, but that’s boring. Instead, let’s focus on the fun side of every sucky event: public mockery! Ever since the PSN first went down, the internet’s been flooded by mocking videos, pictures, and so on. Throughout the day I’m going to be sharing the best of these with you, and hey, maybe we’ll all get a good chuckle out of the whole thing.

Especially those of us with Xbox Live.

This is Why I Love the Internet

Want Darth Vader fighting some H.R. Geiger Aliens? Okay.

Have a nice day.